


It ain't all rainbows and unicorns

by Emeritus2386



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Childhood Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Mentions of Violence, Sibling Rivalry, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 13:39:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8535292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emeritus2386/pseuds/Emeritus2386
Summary: Merle Dixon shouldn't make assumptions. A little bit of angst, turning to fluff in this little in-law fic. Mentions of Daryl/OFC relationship but he doesn't actually feature in this story.Warnings for descriptions of mild violence and past abuse.Set in the prison era just before Merle's death in the TV show.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I felt I needed to write. I used to hate merle, but now I see the potential in him and this is how I wish things had turned out to be.

"Woo-hee if it ain't ma little ginger nut, lookin' fine today lil lady, shouldn't you be suckin off lil darylina 'steada out here on guard?" Merle said, the usual dickish smile plastered on his face as he strutted up to the rooftop of the prison where I was currently on guard, watching out for the pile up of walkers at the fences.

"Oh fuck off merle, doing my job like everyone else, maybe you should put those chops to use, steada running your lip" I said, not even looking in his direction as I looked through the viewfinder of the rifle in front of me. 

His very presence annoyed me, his dickish attitude, vulgar words and racist/ sexist comments were everything that I hated in a person. I knew he wasn't fond of me, the little prissy girl coming and stealing his brother away from him. He relentlessly belittled Daryl, calling him, putting him down and I hated that. Daryl had become a much stronger and better person since his brothers absence, and we were all determined to keep it that way, even with his brother back in the circle. 

"Wooo what bit you in the ass pretty lady? better go tell ma brother you need a good lay, or is he not fulfilling your desires sweet thang?" I snickered, shaking my head at his vulgar topic, "course I could be of assistance if you need the real sweet Dixon lovin, steada dry humping the sweet one." I rolled my eyes and sighed at his course-ness and muttered something along the lines of 'drop dead'. 

"Got balls, way you're talking to me girl, oughta-"  
"Oughta what?" I snapped.  
He snickered, clearly unable to come up with a good comeback that wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass. He was silent for a minute, which with Merle Dixon was a blessing for the silence but a curse for what was gonna come out next.

"I see why he likes you. Other than your smokin ass" again, I rolled my eyes. "Lil' spitfire" he chuckled, throwing himself down on the ground beside me, stretching his legs out.  
"Didn't think you'd be the kinda girl Daryl'd go for" I raised my head, my stomach dropping slightly, dreading what he was gonna say. "Thought he'd find himself a little homemaker, boring, fat, someone that was just there to cook and clean" I chuckled a little at the thought. 

"Damn, guess I should probably take that pie out the oven on ma way down then" I said, still looking out into the distance. With that, his head flung back and he let out a deafening laugh. 

"But Daryl does deserve that, he deserves someone to care and love him, you both do, I guess most people do, but after, yanno, I just want him to be happy"  
"What's yanno?" His eyes narrowing and I instantly regretted bringing it up.  
"Your pa" I said, my gaze now fixated on the fence again.  
"They hell you think you know girl? Don't know a damn thing about what we went through you prissy lil bitch-"  
"no? "  
"Nahh you don't. Ya never went through what we did, your life was prolly rainbows and fucking unicorns to how we were dragged up, don't know a damn thing-" he spat out, now on his feet and screaming at me. Anger rose within me and I stood up right in front of his face, giving it straight back. 

"Oh no? So I don't know how it feels to be scared half to death when you hear the front door unlock and you know it's them, always praying that it's not, worrying what kinda mood they'll be in or how lit they'll be when they get back. I don't know about how it feels when the only people in the world that are supposed to care for ya and love ya are the same people who don't give a single shit if your alive or dead, as long as they get exactly what they need from ya. And I don't know how how it feels to be punished for something ya never did, being blamed for every failure in their life and being reminded all the time how utterly fucking useless you are. Never felt the end of a belt sure, but I sure as hell felt every kick, 'fall' down the stairs, every slap and every single fucking knife wound. You're right, I wasn't there, and I didn't see how you two survived, but don't you dare fucking tell me my life was rainbows and fucking unicorns". Merle's words had definitely stuck a raw nerve inside me and even I was a little shocked at the words dripping from my mouth and the sharp tone of it all. His eyes were wide and his mouth sealed shut, looking like he was chewing on the inside of his gum as his mouth opened and fell gently. He looked downcast and at a loss for words.  
"M'sorry" he muttered, clearly uncomfortable with his assumptions. I was slightly taken back with his apology and I assumed it might have been the first time in his life he'd ever apologised.  
"How old were ya?" He asked, looking back at me, his eyes now having a deep was to them, a sympathetic glimmer. 

"About 9 or 10 when it started" I said, my lips pursing slightly, now uncomfortable at old memories being brought up. "You?" I looked over at him once more, eager to read his expressions.  
He snorted ima derivative fashion and shook his head as if in humour, "never started, never stopped til the bastard was dead". I nodded, looking down again. "Daryl know?".  
"No." I replied shaking my head, "didn't want him to think I'm damaged goods and I haven't mentioned it to many people, ever really" 

"I never knew about Daryl" this made me look up from where my eyes were fixated on my hands in my lap. I was just about to open my mouth to speak when he beat me to it, "only found out when we stepped out from the group." I breathed deeply nodding sadly, thinking about how distraught Daryl was when we walked back to where I was checking the snares in the woods when Merle, Daryl and I had broke from the group after breaking out of Woodbury. 

"So, your daddy?"  
"Nahh mother... Then my best friend's dad" his gaze flicked up to mine immediately, shock running through him as he started balling his fist. 

"Didn't have a daddy?" 

"Yeah, he was away alot" I breathed in as I realised he wanted the whole story.

"He was a musician, was away all the time touring or guest tracking in studios and my mom didn't like it, thought he was cheating on her all the time or that he wouldn't come back one day. He never would've done that, wasn't in his nature. She started drinking a lot, used to be gone on benders for days, weeks at a time. She'd be lit, high, probably whored herself out a few times, but every time she came back she'd be worse. Started with some hair pulling, shoving me aside, then it turns into pushing me down the stairs, getting mad and slapping, all whilst saying the usual shit. One day she came home, lit and high off her head and tries making some food, so I go in and tell her I'll make it, knowing that she'd probably burn the fucking house down. Sorry, didn't think to-" he nods, understanding and urges me to carry on.  
"She didn't like that. Holds out the knife until she's grabbed my wrist and starts digging it in, wanting me to feel how she felt when she was near me and how hopeless she felt. I wouldn't be able to be better than her with one arm, wouldn't be so perfect littered in scars. She turned green, ran off to vom and I left the house, then when I got home the next day she was gone, never saw her again." 

"Shit", his only reply for a second. "And your best friends daddy?"

"After my parents left-"

"Wait, 'they' left, your daddy took off too?" His face was scrunched up in confusion and a hint of anger.

"She left like I said, then my dad left when I was 14, went back to Sweden to start us a new life but he ended up staying and getting back with his ex whilst I moved in with my boyfriends family". He was back to chewing the inside of his cheeks as he nodded for me to continue.  
"Was round at my best friend's house one day, I was 16, Jimmy was moving in with me and we wanted to grab some of his shit. Knew he had hit Jimmy once or twice but other than that..." I sighed, hating the idea of recounting these memories. "He pulls up, comes bounding in and calls to jim, I heard a commotion and go downstairs and he goes off when he sees me. Keeps calling me his precious little thing, telling me that I'm fuckin all the guys in the group and that he wants in on it. He's sent Jimmy outside to the shed and backed me up to the wall. Jimmy walks back in, sees what happening and tries to beat on his dad, trying to pry him away from me. His dad was in the army, built like a brick shithouse and obviously trained so it only took one punch and Jimmy was out cold. He starts on me then, punching, clawing, biting and then he stood up and said he didn't want me anyway and left. Happened again and then that was it." I was now looking back at my hands in my lap, ashamed of my story. 

"Sorry red" he breathed, running his had through his hair. I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders gently and I felt him place his hand on my shoulder.

"So ya gonna put that pie in the oven for me?" He laughed, his eyes lightening.

"Pfft as long as it ain't a bun in the oven" he roared with laughter, shaking his head and started to move away. 

"Y'aint so bad" he chuckled.  
"You neither" I smirked up at him, a warm was spreading between us and I felt honoured that I'd managed to see the true Merle, not the asshole wall he built.

"Daryl's a lucky guy. If he ever hurts you, I'll break his nuts" and with that he was gone. 

Had I just broken Merle Dixon? I expected shame to come from putting my biggest secrets into the hands (or hand) of the biggest jerk I'd ever met, but somehow I knew that secret would be guarded forever. An unspoken bond, 2 abused children coming together at the end of the world... Maybe this Merle I could deal with, nicknames and all.


End file.
